Missouri Helps Sam
by pandorathexplora
Summary: Sam's tortured by the memory of his brother, and he needs help with the demon blood inside him. Missouri helps out. Set after Season 3 finale. And of course, duh, it's me...some hurt!vengeful!dark!Sam
1. Chapter 1

"I can't," Sam said, closing his eyes.

"Concentrate, child," Missouri assured him in a voice that could sooth and sting simultaneously.

"This is worthless. I don't know what I'm even trying to do…or what I'm even doing here," Sam continued to push into himself. He shut his eyes as fiercely as he could, but nothing was happening.

"You just haven't explored your gifts, boy." Hearing her words, Sam immediately lost his concentration, and stared at her with an expression of _Are you serious_?

"The right way, I mean." Missouri rolled her eyes at the tenacity of this boy. Mr. Sam Winchester, knocking on her door at three in the morning, thunder still roaring, with nothing but a sopping wet head of hair to show for it.

Before he even spoke, Missouri had known why he was there. The boy-king, they called him, but to Missouri, he was just as he always had been - the boy. Yes, the boy with the gift.

Now, lightning still crashed outside her window, and Missouri eyed the candles she had set up around her living room. Their flames shivered, creating a dance of shadows along the walls. With a deep breath, Missouri kept her eyes on the boy in front of her. The candles' flickering lights were something she had never seen in this windless room before.

Yes, this boy had a gift.

"Now, just close your eyes again, Sam. Focus on the water glass, just like I told you." Missouri sat opposite the young hunter, a round wooden table between them. Directly in the center of the table, the aging widow had placed a clear glass filled with water. A single ice cube floated inside it.

"My mother once told me that those with the gift can just see what they want, imagine it, and it will happen," Missouri pronounced every word like she would in front of a child. But in her eyes, Sam was still young, learning, and new.

"Now, I'm not going to get deep and start saying that you gotta 'Become one with the ice,' because frankly, Sam, that's all hogwash…Anyone that tell you that's never done this before."

Sam smiled, still keeping his eyes closed. He always enjoyed Missouri's sense of humor and it seemed she always knew just what to say to break the tension.

Still, Sam's thoughts were clouded by guilt. He had come to Missouri seeking answers, something pure and separate from Ruby. Deep down, he knew that Ruby was leading him down a river, dark and deep, and soon it would swallow him whole.

No, Missouri was the only one that might understand what to do. The only one that knew how to do things, like she said, the right way.

"One more time…work on just the simple stuff, Sam. All that sound and fury you been making back with those demon exorcisms, it's not the way you want to go." Missouri spoke firmly, but her touch was gentle. Placing an ebony hand on his clenched fists, her touch shocked the frustrated hunter, but he loosened his grip.

"Don't squeeze those eyes so tight, you'll pop a membrane," Missouri had to smile with Sam. The boy was so unaware of what he had, of what he could do, but so oblivious. She could see the light inside of him, tingling her skin with just a touch. It was a light that no demon could ever bestow, no amount of blood could taint it.

"Let me guess," Missouri continued, "You get nosebleeds a lot, child?"

Sam lost his concentration again, looking up at the dark sage before him. She sat regally, hands folded, one eyebrow raised, announcing that she didn't even need an answer.

Sam simply nodded, darting his eyes quickly to the ground, ashamed of what he had done.

"No need to be embarassed, Samuel," Missouri continued. "You got the light, but no one's guided you with it."

"I was scared. I thought I turned to the only person that could help me…that Ruby character I told you about."

"Ahhh yes. Dear, sweet, Ruby," Missouri smiled, carving wrinkles into her cheek that came and went unnoticed. "Feisty little bitch, isn't she?"

"Missouri!" Sam cried out in shock. Hearing Missouri curse was like hearing grandma talk about sex. It just didn't happen.

"What? Ruby's a pawn in a bigger game, and even she don't know she's playing." Missouri let out a sigh and let a minute pass, watching the young man stare at that stubborn piece of ice.

"Sam?" smiling sweetly.

"Yes, mam?"

"Stop trying so hard, baby."

Sam groaned. "I told you I can't do this!" Sam raised his hands, finally about to give up in this sad excuse for an exercise. Quickly, he rose up from his chair, the front door in his sights. He knew he should have never come here. What was he even thinking?

"You were thinking that Dean doesn't need TWO demons to worry about. He's got enough with Ruby." Missouri stared at Sam out of the corner of her eyes, but with enough power that she didn't even need words. Sam was already down before she stated, "Now SIT."

Sam straightened his jacket, attempting to muster up some amount of dignity in front of Missouri, but looking more like a scared kid who just pissed his mom off.

"Quit pouting and get back to work," Missouri said, rolling her eyes.

And Sam did.

An hour passed, and the storm was only getting stronger. Inside, Sam was getting frustrated with what Missouri wanted him to do. Just move the ice, she says. Don't try so hard. Be calm. But deep down, Sam was falling. He had started down the path and now, struck by the realization that he was losing valuable time, it seemed he couldn't retreat. Every minute here could be a day, a decade for his brother.

He didn't have minutes anymore. He had abandoned calm when he had lost his brother. The lines between what Sam saw as right and wrong blurred when he remembered Dean. How Dean had lain in front of his own eyes, each brother powerless to stop the merciless claws, the teeth, the pain. And, god, the blood. The blood had stained Sam's hands. He couldn't wash it off. It seeped into his clothes, his skin, every fiber of his being.

Shit, the blood was inside of him and he had been powerless, weak, defenseless.

But not anymore.

After an hour, Missouri was finally relieved to see her student's body relax. She had replaced the ice every twenty minutes to make sure that her pupil had something to work with. It seemed that now, judging by his posture, Sam might finally be getting somewhere. Missouri smiled, assured that Sam had it.

"Yes, boy," she whispered, encouraging him along to find the way. "You've got it," she said even quieter, perhaps to herself.

But her eyes fell on the shadows again, and Missouri immediately regret what she had said.

The fires of the candles' wicks glowed in the glistening pupils of Missouri's horrified expression as she whispered, "Oh Jesus, not like this."

******************************************************8

Sam


	2. Chapter 2

And now the conclusion!!

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The storm raged on, all noise, but no rain. Somewhere in the distance it still fell in droves, but here, over the suburban neighborhood, only empty remnants remained. A thunderclap awakened all the car alarms on city streets. Dogs barked, clawing at their fences, gnawing at their leashes, just to get away from the sound, the mad fury erupting all around them.

The digital clock that once read 4:13 AM blinked out, much to Missouri's increasing fears. The candle flames grew higher, raising the temperature in the room.

"Sam! Wake up, Sam!" The peace-like trance that Missouri had been reaching for was the stuff of her nightmares. She knew where this state was headed, and it wasn't right. She had sensed it with the steady rise and rhythm of the candles, the omens to bad spirits. And she had to stop it.

"Samuel! Wake up this instant!" Missouri shook the young hunter who sat, unnaturally relaxed in his chair, eyes still closed, forehead furrowed as if in a waking dream.

As she gripped his shoulders, shaking him, Missouri kept an eye on her surroundings. The furniture rattled and the fires from the flames danced. A sudden crackle from behind her brought Missouri to a standing upright position.

"What the -- " she said, turning around, feeling a scorching heat against her back.

To her horror, a fireplace that had never been used nor even stored firewood exploded with life.

"Samuel Winchester!" Missouri cried again. "This isn't the way!"

Meanwhile, within the the burgeoning depths of Sam's mind, a steady hum of calm drifted him further away.

_Peacccccce_, a voice hissed. _Balancccce_.

Sam stood in the middle of deserted road, a neon motel sign illuminating his way. Two young boys played in the street.

"Sam, throw me the ball!" a young Dean called out.

"I can't find it!" his younger self cried out, still desperately searching along the abandoned road.

"Jesus, Sammy, you lost another one?"

The voices echoed in Sam's head. He had retreated to that special niche that most find peace, but it wasn't the place that mattered. No grassy knolls or serene oceans. His peace had always been with his brother.

_Peacccce, _a truck's nearby tire deflated, hissing and deepening Sam's descent.

A pop and the vision transformed. The younger Dean's face suddenly seemed to melt away, two red fireflies bounded in the distance, narrowing like eyes and laughing at Sam.

"We've got him, Sam," the trees seemed to whisper.

"A soul for a soul, Sam," another screech of tires. Sam suddenly felt the calm getting retched away from him. Again. They were stealing. Again. He was useless.

"Balanccccce, Sam," and a thousand crows flew off the tree branches above the motel, cackling as they rose high into the moonlit sky, a trail of fire behind them.

"Enough!" With that, Sam's eyes shot open and he became suddenly aware of the stifling heat. Smoke filled the room and Missouri was nowhere in sight.

"Missouri!" Sam beckoned, voice deep and commanding. But no one answered. He covered his mouth with his arm, struggling to combat the smoke. _Where had the fires come from?_ he thought.

"Where are you! Missouri!" and Sam feared the worst. He suddenly imagined Missouri, pinned beneath a house pillar, fighting with all her power to get up, to cry for anyone that could hear her but receiving nothing in return.

Empowered by an overwhelming desire to not cause another person's death, Sam raced deeper into the house. The fire had slithered into the hallway, burning Missouri's family portraits, their edges melting away around innocent faces trapped in time.

"Sam!" a female voice called behind a closed door leading to the kitchen.

Without thinking, he ran towards the door, hurling his body against its weakened frame. The flames licked around him as he tried two more times and the wood finally gave way.

"Missouri?!" As Sam entered, the nightmare had just begun.

In the center of the smoke filled room, Ruby stood cooly, holding a knife to Missouri's neck.

"Oh don't look so surprised, Sam. I'm a demon," she rolled her eyes.

"How did you --"

"Get here? God, you're such an amateur. Using your powers is like a beacon to me. Darksiders like you and me, Sam?" she narrowed her eyes, "We're connected," and she brought the knife closer, nearly piercing Missouri's flesh.

Sam coughed. The smoke was rising and he knew he had to get Missouri out of here if they were to survive.

"Sam, just do what she says." Missouri choked out from beneath Ruby's stronghold. "None of the hero stuff, okay?" Missouri's appearance seemed out of place, a woman of her size being held captive by such a small girl in curls.

"Yeah, Sammy! Just do what I say!" Ruby cackled against the fires around her. Sam now saw her in her truest form, for the evil being that she was. With hair wild and enshrouded by black smoke and gripping the knife's hilt like it was her child, Ruby was a gross visage of cruelty incarnate. As he tried to map an escape, questions swirled in Sam's head. Why would Ruby pretend to help him for so long? Why drop the ruse now? What did she want with Missouri?

"It doesn't matter now, Sam. You had two choices, and when you left me for this…" She drew a thin red line against Missouri's throat that opened up like a second mouth, spilling red onto the floor.

"No! You bitch!"

"Well, you're going down a path I never intended, " and with that, Ruby threw the lifeless body that once held the beautiful spirit of Missouri onto the cold linoleum floor.

Sam attempted to run to Missouri's side, but was held back by an invisible force.

"Oh noooo!" Ruby mocked, drawing her one hand up to her cheek. The other hand was outstretched, holding Sam in place. "Was that your mentor? Was she going to teach you how to be good and give candy canes to all the good little boys and girls?"

Ruby's eyes went completely white. "You GOT to be kidding me."

Sam's stomach turned in sudden terror at Ruby's face. Why hadn't he seen it before?

"Lilith!" Sam fought futilely against the force that ensnared him. The smoke was all around him now as he struggled to remember Missouri's words.

"Sam!" the demon that posed as Ruby yelled back. She bent back with laughter, gripping the knife tightly as she approached Sam. Oh, she was going to enjoy every last minute of his demise. "You caught me off guard last time, but I came prepared for you, boy-wonder," she continued through a smile from ear to ear, dancing around the blood as if it were a game of hop-scotch.

The blood. Everywhere Sam looked, he saw blood.

Still frozen, Sam stole a glance to the window outside. The rain had stopped, but the thunder carried on. He needed to come up with a plan, but Lilith was too powerful now. He needed some guidance. Anything.

Drawing deep within himself, Sam focused on the image of blood around him, using it to fuel him. Lilith delighted herself by giving Missouri's corpse a light kick as she twirled around and finally faced Sam, only inches away from his face.

"Careful, Sammy, you'll give yourself a nosebleed," Lilith stated and without warning, drove the knife into Sam's side.

Immediately, Sam screamed at the biting steel within his torso and toppled to the ground. His face fell directly in front of Missouri's bloodshot eyes, staring at him from another realm, pleading for him to save her one last time.

He needed the anger. He lay there, tired, bleeding, and enraged. Using everything that he knew, he gathered up his reserves and threw all of his energy out at Lilith, attempting to exorcise her back to hell.

His hand still outstretched, Lilith feigned a small cough.

And nothing more.

"Eck. Hairball." Lilith strolled over to his helpless form on the ground and heaved her large boot square in the middle of his chest. Sam felt the wind fight to leave his body. He gasped, trying to bring the sweet air back into him, but was met only with smoke.

"It's useless, Sam. You're done. Hell, I'M done worrying about you," Lilith threw her hands up in the air as she towered above him.

"God, you're so pathetic, you know that?" she continued, putting a hand against her hip. "Look at you, mighty Sam. Awesome Sam! All-powerful SAM!"

Lilith made a face of pure disgust, as if she was about to vomit. "Is this really it? That's really all you got?!"

Sam closed his eyes, preparing to meet his brother, giving in finally to the world's darkest beasts, when he heard a hum.

It resembled nothing slightly louder than a whisper.

Peace. Balance.

Sam watched above him, but saw past the ceiling. Filled with an earnest calm, he reached for the source, pulling himself higher until the stars reflected in his gaze. Looking down on him, Lilith paused, confused at what she saw – Sam's eyes, once dark and tired, were now two azure pools, staring past her without fear.

Not wanting to see what Sam would do, Lilith pulled up the knife, prepared to bring it down with all her fury, until Sam's gaze finally locked onto Lilith's.

And the skies answered back. A ripple of thunder cracked through the air as a gust of wind threw Lilith against the far wall. The flames bit around her body as it did Sam, but he could not feel it. She screamed more in anger than anything else.

"Sam, you dare! This is my time!"

Sam ignored her, still lying on the floor, his eyes closed while he mouthed two words repeatedly beneath the chaos of tumultous winds that fanned the fires.

As he chanted to himself, he didn't watch but knew behind closed eyes what was happening. Lilith, still pinned against the far wall, screamed obscenities and blasphemed to the heavens. When she looked up, she was only met with more nightmares as the roof above her head tore off and revealed the dark clouds above.

"Not from the gates of hell! I'm hell itself!" the words spewed out of her mouth to the skies above. She fought to break herself away from the wall, but the wind held her tightly in place.

"Please, don't!" she called again.

"Sam!" He slowly opened his eyes, ready and aware of everything around him. And he let the clouds drain.

As the rains fell, Sam whispered a blessing his father taught him. The fury of the rain met the sound of his gentle words.

Instantly, the storm transformed into holy water and each droplet sizzled against Lilith's skin. She bubbled and boiled, her flesh crawling off in an effort to escape the demonic soul within it. The last noise Sam heard was that of gnashing human teeth and wailing screams. Once tethered against the wall by howling winds, Lilith's limp body finally fell to the ground in a heap, as the dying storm cleansed each fire around the bodies.

Sam let out a sigh. The light around his eyes dimmed, returning to earthly hue.

He drowned out the sound of the ambulances and the firemen outside. Right now, underneath the baptismal raindrops against his forehead, Sam thought about his brother.


End file.
